Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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