I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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