She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
