College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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