You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
