That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
