he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
