I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
