Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My dick has a subreddit
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
