i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
