I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
