i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
