believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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