I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
