If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize