I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
