Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
