...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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