Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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