have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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