that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
