i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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