Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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