You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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