I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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