I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
