my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
