youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
