i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
