College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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