i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
