so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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