ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
