Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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