I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
4 words: hood of his car
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
