i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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