i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
