I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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