we're blogging at a bar
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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