i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
