I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
