I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I think my fart just growled at me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
