So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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