I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
