still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
