That's when you crack a 10am beer
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
