yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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