i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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