how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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