did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
